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Showing posts with the label comedy

"Trump’s getting impeached? I defy you to convince anyone at this cursed truck stop."

Writes Alexandria Petri , who seems to have ventured out of the elite cocoon to talk to some deplorables before condemning them for failing to match her opinion. This account of a perilous journey to the hinterlands appears in The Washington Post. She doesn't state where this truck stop is, so I'm not certain it isn't a satirical fantasy. I'm just reading the headline and glancing at the text, trying to find out exactly where this is, and I'm suspecting "cursed" is a clue that the place is her invention, the truck stop from hell. Now, I'm reading the text. I’ve been interviewing for what I figure is at least an hour — the clock on the wall is broken — and everyone I speak to still supports the president just as much as they did the day he was elected.... Who relies on a wall   clock to know what time it is? That's your first clue. The old man at the end of the counter shakes his head when I tell him the president is beleaguered by scandal. He’s no...

"Mark Normand's Bad-Ass New Orleans Trans Nanny."

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"Whaddya mean 'no,' Ben?"

Trump gets sarcastic, inviting us to think about the mental health of Greta Thunberg.

She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see! https://t.co/1tQG6QcVKO — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 24, 2019 He seems lighthearted, in his usual style. He's almost always jolly, whatever's going on. But from Thunberg's perspective, his laughing is evil-villain laughter, and she projects herself into the future, where there are billions of her, hating him and, with him, all of the rest of us current adults who are ruining everything and laughing at a little girl.

How do you watch "Fleabag"?

I'm seeing "Fleabag" everywhere, the morning after the Emmys. My first question — other than what is it? — is how do you watch it? Because TV isn't like it once was where if something was on TV, duh, you watched it on TV. Something on TV could be in any number of weird places, and if it's something new I have to think about whether I want to subscribe to, I don't know if I want to know anything else. But I googled how do you watch "Fleabag" and I was happy to see it's on Amazon Prime . Okay. What's the show about then? According to Cosmopolitan, "'Fleabag' Fans Are NOT Happy With Ben Stiller For Saying the Show is About a Sex Addict." Sooo... it's a show with fans who can't take a light ribbing? Anyone with access to Google (ever heard of it?) can easily tell you that Fleabag is about "a dry-witted woman, known only as Fleabag, has no filter as she navigates life and love in London while trying to cope with tr...

"They'll rue the day they made fun of these bad boys. Woe to those who make fun of the cargo shorts and then suddenly need some snacks, a multitool, a first-aid kit, or a Johnny Cash CD. Yeah, I've got all that stuff in here and more."

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Said Brent Barden, quoted in "Family Gonna Be Sorry When They Want Some Trail Mix From Dad's Cargo Shorts They Just Made Fun Of " (in The Babylon Bee, which apparently has heard of my disparagement of it and decided to try to appeal to me by using my well-known "men in shorts" issue). ADDED: "Yeah, I've got all that stuff in here and more." Care to rewrite that, Babylon Bee? It's a father, humorously addressing children, and you've unwittingly got him sort of threatening them with his genitalia! And that's right after he's talking about them getting into his pants to find something to eat. So ham-handed! OH? You've got ham hands? Can I have a ham-hand sandwich, Dad? HEY: A guy once did make a ham-hand sandwich of sorts... WELL: That video sure made me laugh a lot. I'm ready to watch all videos by I Did a Thing . You know, there's no arguing with taste, especially in humor... and in bread gloves. ALSO: "Mad respect ...

Your little internet friend...

POV: Me trying to explain “Internet Friends” to my Southern Mom pic.twitter.com/MHTyrkQ5tm — eco sister (@hiitaylorblake) September 17, 2019

"I can’t believe you’re here, wow. You’ve got balls, girl"/"Remember when your picture was on Wheaties boxes back when people could still look at you when they eat?"

"Let’s face it. No one wants to be here. The person who went to the greatest lengths to not show up tonight was Bruce Jenner"/"You goddamn hypocrite. You’re, like, against gay marriage. You voted for Trump. You’re like the Auntie Tom of the trans community." Things said about Caitlin Jenner at the Alec Baldwin roast, quoted in "Caitlyn Jenner Was Savagely Mocked at the ‘Roast of Alec Baldwin’… And Then Again Afterwards" (Decider). Here's Jenner's response: If you’re one of @Caitlyn_Jenner ’s haters, this set is going to be tough for you. #BaldwinRoast pic.twitter.com/JUhUWh3AFI — Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) September 16, 2019 "If I can find the courage to be who I am, then you can too. If you have a problem with that, then you can suck my dick — if you can find it!!! ."

"A lot of people only know my dad as an angry guy, but he’s more than some lunatic who loses his temper. He also loses Emmys. And Oscars. And custody of his firstborn child."

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"Seriously, Dad, I’m so proud of you. You’re a wonderful father and an amazing actor, and I’m thrilled to be here to see you celebrated tonight. After all the years of giving verbal abuse, it’s finally time you received some. So before I leave, I’d just like to say something you’ve never said to me: good night." Said Ireland Baldwin, quoted in "Ireland Baldwin’s roast of dad Alec Baldwin was even more brutal on TV" (WaPo). The WaPo article links to a 2007 WaPo article about Baldwin's phone message to his daughter when she was 11: "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig." "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being," he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call. "I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You h...